


Stay Close (Consolation)

by angstsochist



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst disguised as Optimism, Comfort Sex, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, tiny hint of Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-08-31 15:04:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8582974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstsochist/pseuds/angstsochist
Summary: At what point did he stop watching? The man had clearly been looking for a reason to drink all night.  But wasn’t Shunsui also known as the captain always looking for reasons to drink, even in the middle of day?





	

As Jushiro slid open the screen door of his office, there was only the soft rustling of leaves and the full moon at its peak that greeted him. He could feel the back of his neck and shoulder protesting, aching for him to crawl into bed. But the same restlessness that had plagued him all day still hovered. He thought for sure finishing the training regimens for the next three months would help get rid of it.

Somewhere in the background, his ears catch a growing swell of rowdy laughter. And given the recently morose air around his division, it was a deeply welcome sound. They were suffering from more than a month’s worth of backlog, all because of an attack that had left him unable to sit up for weeks.

But those worries should all be behind them now, Jushiro thought as he relished the ease of breathing in the cool, night air, perfectly content to let those voices fade to the back of his mind--until he recognized that deep and slurring baritone that was part of an approaching group.

“Mika-chan shurrre wasss lovely in that… Ne, wha color was her kimono? Grrreen! Jussst lovely. Wassn’t she lovely, Hayate-kun?”

And sure enough, there was Shunsui, the complete embodiment of high spirits and joviality, rambling the ear off what appeared to be the Jushiro’s own 6th seat. And not just his 6th seat apparently. As they got closer, Jushiro was also able to spot a couple more familiar faces from his division.

“Jyuu-chan!” Shunsui was the first notice him, and it was quickly followed by dozens of a more formal greeting.

Jushiro simply smiled at his subordinates, and their dismal attempts to hide the fact that they weren’t all about to tip over. “Have a good night, boys.”

He nodded at Shunsui before turning away, finally deciding that he was ready to head back to his place, when a large hand clamped on his shoulder.

“Nexsh time yer buyin Matsuki-kun! Til then!” Shunsui, a suddenly solid presence next to him, waved a hand loosely at them.

The sight of his men dissolved into fading murmuring voices until even that completely died out. Now, only the sounds of the more soothing chirps of the cicadas were prominent once again, along with the occasional splash in the pond.

“I really appreciate you taking them out for drinks.” Jushiro started softly. “They’d barely gotten a night off-”

“You are so busted, Jyuu.” Shunsui interrupted, with a very prominent pout on his lips. But even more noticeable was that all trace of his initial cheer had vanished from his eyes. “Unohana-taicho said you weren’t allowed to overexert yourself this soon after your recovery.”

“Well, I-” Jushiro felt his cheeks heat up at the accusation. “For the first time in weeks, my breathing feels smooth. And I’m up on my feet. I just wanted…”

“To sit in front of a desk doing drab old paperwork until dawn?” Shunsui unhappily eyed him, and then the closed door of his office, probably picturing his own dreaded mountain of a stack back in his own office.

“To be useful.” Jushiro’s smile was wry this time. “And I already finished it all. I was just about to head home.”

Shunsui sighed, the long drawn-out overdramatic kind. “And so once again, the burden falls to me to make things right.”

“What are you…”

But Shunsui had already disappeared in a flash step. Next thing Jushiro knew, there was the muffled but unmistakable sound of a drawer opening before his dear friend materialized in front of him again, and a bottle of sake and two cups in each hand.

Jushiro’s face had morphed into complete disbelief. “Is that from my office? And aren’t you drunk-” And then it just occurred to him, Shunsui wasn’t the least bit drunk now, if he even was.

“Life is all about balance, Jyuu. Now for every hour you spent in that boring office, you are going to have to drink one cup. Maybe two.” Shunsui merely gave him a lopsided grin, and while it made Jushiro wonder at the man’s blatant hypocrisy, it also made him question, just for a second, if all of this was just another front, like the one he had given his men earlier.

“I suppose it could help me fall asleep.” He conceded.

“We should move this party over to the Ugendo then.” Shunsui placed the two small cups in Jushiro’s hand and firmly clasped the other, before taking that one step that made everything around them blur.

They landed atop the bridge, steps away from the quiet little house in the middle. the same house that had originally left him feeling isolated and detached. Most captains slept in their respective division’s barracks, and while he never planned for his stay here to be permanent, things had somehow ended up like that anyway. He realized later on that all it really took was a genuine effort on his end, and not necessarily sharing a living space, to create the kind of bond leaders needed from their subordinates.

And so he had finally begun to see this quiet little house as an honest source of reprieve. It helped that the whole place was filled with countless memories of him and Shunsui, most of which were simply just the two of them sitting by the bridge, letting their toes dip in the water.

And tonight was only going to add to that.

+++

 

Jushiro’s insides were buzzing with warmth, not just from the sake, but simply from having Shunsui next to him. He listened to him spin tales of the floating flowers, the dragonflies, or pretty much whatever caught his fancy. And at some point, the spark of restlessness he’d been lamenting all day had finally faded from his mind.

But while he certainly felt loose and relaxed, he was pretty sure that he’d pay for it tomorrow. He knew he was pushing it, staying up this late after Unohana-taichou had just declared him fit, and only for light duties. But Jushiro couldn’t bring himself to feel bad for it, not really. He was too tired of having his illness dictate his life.

He deserved to enjoy what was even only his consolation, Jushiro thought as he smirked at the spluttering Shunsui.

“It’s a story, Jyuu!”

“A story of the fish from my pond.” Jushiro said matter-of-factly. “And no fish of mine is big enough to swallow a toad.”

Shunsui uttered a loud groan from where he was now sprawled on his back, cup full of sake still impressively balanced on one hand.

Jushiro wondered what exactly it would take to be able to pry Shunsui away from good liquor. Would one heated kiss be enough? Or would he have to furtively slip a hand down his chest, and then let his touch linger in that sensitive spot just below his belly button?

These were but a few small musings Jushiro had of his best friend, but they were slowly accumulated over the lifetime they knew each other. But much as he would have liked to find the answers out, he knew he couldn’t.

It was no longer a question of courage, not after that one winter they spent in the Kyouraku estate. Whenever Jushiro thought of that day, the most vivid memory was always the image of a very irritated, shivering, and snivelling Shunsui, wrapped in several layers of fluffy pink blankets. The moment he heard that one of their maids had lost her glasses in the snow, he had immediately ventured into their very large, very snow-laden yard and had ended up inadvertently slipping into their pond.

Jushiro wasn’t sure how many times he had to stress hypothermia before Shunsui agreed to give up the quest for those glasses. And still Shunsui had hounded on him afterwards, arguing that men should always come through for women and how incredibly pissed he was that Jushiro kept him from doing just that. Jushiro, on the other hand, too busy snickering at the amusing sight before him, had only responded that he didn’t look at all threatening in pink.

Jushiro never had any love for winter. While he could admit to the beautiful scenery it created, the cold always made his chest feel tight, sometimes to the point of breathlessness that severely limited from going outdoors. He never had any fond memories as a result. Until that day, of course.

When Shunsui’s arguments turned from chivalry to fashion and style, about how he would be able to snag twice as many women wearing pink, his own snickers had abruptly erupted into full blown laughter. It was wonderful. For a brief moment, his lungs didn’t feel broken-down or tattered.

He wasn’t quite sure about what happened next. Maybe it was the knowledge that the invigorating feeling wouldn’t last, or maybe that _he_ himself wouldn’t last, at least not long enough to make a difference. But whatever it was, it was enough to make him capture Shunsui’s lips in his own.

It had been a chaste kiss. And really, the first thing that Jushiro felt was relief as some color had finally returned to Shunsui’s face.

Shunsui just blinked at him, like he wasn’t sure what had happened just happened. But then next thing Jushiro knew, he was being dragged into Shunsui’s pink blanket cocoon, straight into his lap. And Shunsui had given him their first real kiss, along with other firsts that night.

And by then, he’d thought that the rest would be history. Except, in the morning after, Shunsui had dragged himself to the floor away from Jushiro’s side of the futon, and proceeded to bend over and beg for Jushiro’s forgiveness, and for their friendship back. He’d said that beyond what they had shared that night, he couldn’t give anymore than that.

Jushiro, in slow and tentative movements, had crossed over to where he was and settled in front of his very distraught friend. He gently pushed him up by the shoulders, and as the light had finally touched his face, Jushiro was deeply unsettled to find his skin shining with tear tracks.

He set aside the urge to kiss each stain away, and instead pulled the man to himself, wrapping him in the tightest embrace.

“You know our friendship is just as valuable to me, right?”

And Jushiro had meant it. He thought back to the kind of trust and support they shared in all the years they’ve known each other and still thought of it as love, just in a different form. And that was enough for him to make peace with what happened that day.

They remained good friends, but somewhere along the way, Jushiro felt as if that definition had gotten lost, blurred by the whirlwind of nights spent with several drunken kisses, the kind that sometimes came with mutual hand jobs.

But he supposed those encounters could be written off as a mere source of comfort. He thought about the events that transpired before each of those nights. From the day that Shunsui discovered how his indecisiveness nearly cost him the lives of an entire platoon of men, to the time he had realized earning his men’s trust meant throwing them into less parties and more into challenging missions. Or the day he received news that the first ever soul reaper he had mentored had been killed in action.

Jushiro even thought back to his own bad days, when despite the clear and bright weather and his chest feeling light, he was still couldn’t muster up the energy to face the day. Shunsui was always there, ready to share a drink and his easy warmth.

But those times were long past. It had been quite awhile since anything had happened between them.

Jushiro turned to regard the man now sitting upright, leaning back with his whole weight resting on the outstretched arm behind Jushiro. Could this be one of those times?

He focused on Shunsui’s reiatsu, and tried to get a glimpse of what was beneath that calmness. It was a delicate act  like dipping one’s arm into water and hoping no ripples form, except it was done with one’s own reiatsu. It was something Jushiro continually employed to get a proper read on people. It was highly invasive, and he had only ever used it on adversaries, but he had recalled the small nagging part of himself that had been questioning Shunsui’s smiles all night.

And when he had finally touched upon Shunsui’s raw reiatsu, his entire mind flashed back to the time he had fallen off the boat in the middle of a storm in the sea. He had remembered being swallowed by rough, turbulent waves. He remembered the startling shock of cold. But most of all, he remembered the dark.

“Jyuu?”

He must’ve given himself away. Or maybe he just flinched. He hoped it was the latter as he wordlessly brushed off Shunsui’s concern. He couldn’t seem to speak, his concentration focused on gripping his arms closer to himself, in order to ward off the chill that was settling across his entire being.

“You know what, I think it’s getting late.” Shunsui suddenly muttered, making a move to stand when Jushiro stayed his arm.

He examined the gleam of moonlight on Shunsui’s face, and the shadows all over him that almost consumed it entirely.

“Please stay.”

He leaned in close to bump his forehead against Shunsui’s and drew in a long breath, letting it hiss out slowly along with his own frustrations. At what point did he stop watching? When did the man get so much better at hiding his pain? He had clearly been looking for a reason to drink all night. But wasn’t Shunsui also known as the captain always looking for reasons to drink, even in the middle of day?

Another inhale, and then he pressed his slightly chapped lips to sake-warmed ones. There was a short, pained whimper before Shunsui returned the kiss with such force that it left Jushiro’s mind staggering. He felt disoriented for a moment, unable to connect this raw and frantic emotion coursing through the kiss with the cool and easy vibe he had been revelling in all night.

And as soon as Shunsui pulled away, he left this wide gap between them, where their breaths were barely able to mingle.

“Jushiro…” He pleaded, gray eyes shining with the first hint of anguish that night.

He waited for the words that hung on the edge of that plea, but it never came. Jushiro let out a short huff, his lips curling a little.

“We should get inside.” The same hand that had stopped Shunsui from rising earlier was the same one that had pulled him up and dragged him inside the little house in the middle.

+++

 

Shunsui, as if having some internal struggle, had followed after him in a daze. Jushiro sat him down on the futon, before sliding into the space next to him. He started with the flowery pink kimono and then his haori, setting both aside next to the bed. He felt a brief twinge of guilt as he realized that Shunsui’s hat had been left on the bridge, but he quickly ceded that it would still be in its place by tomorrow.  

When his fingers slid inside his uniform, to caress the smoothness of his skin, it was then that Shunsui snapped out of himself. Sinking his hands into the white flowy tresses at back of Jushiro’s head, he pulled him in for another hard, intense kiss.

Having completely forgone any tentativeness, Shunsui’s mouth devoured his as if all he knew in the world was this kiss and nothing else. Jushiro gladly let himself get swept away in this onslaught.

They both struggled with removing his own haori, having fallen on his back and getting it pinned under their shared weight. Shunsui then hurriedly untied the rest of their robes, even growling at one hard knot at his hakama.

As soon as their skins were bare, Shunsui closed a hand over his half-hard member and began to stroke, ripping a low moan from Jushiro. Soon Shunsui joined his own member as well and they both started rubbing against each other. All the while Jushiro’s hands clung to the expanse of Shunsui’s back, barely holding himself together as he drowned in their mingled groans and the near-overwhelming sensations.

Breath after shivering breath, their lips only hovering over each other’s at some point, Jushiro stared, mesmerized as a wholly difference trance descended upon Shunsui and the eyes that continually held his were now glazed over. How had Jushiro made it so far without this? Shunsui eventually widened his legs and slipped himself between them, and the moment he settled, Jushiro had only pulled them back close and around him.

Strangely, as insistent and heated as Shunsui’s touches were, there was almost never a hint of lust or fervor, unlike most of their previous encounters. Here and now, Jushiro could only feel his quiet desperation and his need to feel something other than his pain.

In some ways, it was terrifying, holding the man he loved like any minute he would just crumble into tiny, unnoticeable pieces. But it was also equal parts gratifying because only he'd know where to find the pieces and keep them close, until Shunsui was ready to hold himself back together.

When he felt a wet finger circle his entrance, he matched Shunsui’s imploring look with understanding and permission. It was even longer since they had done this, their first and only time that day they had shared a bed in the Kyouraku estate. But even as they hadn’t stayed together afterwards, Jushiro had found himself frequently sating his desires for the man this way by himself. So he snatched the wrist from under his hip, and instead brought it to circle around his shoulder and started to guide Shunsui’s tip directly to his entrance.

The fingers on his shoulder had roughly clenched and he caught the steady widening of Shunsui’s eyes. He smiled at him fondly, half tinged with exasperation. This man knew nothing of the depth of his love, and he may never come to know it.

When the shock lingered far too long, he tugged him by the hair down into a hungry, open-mouthed kiss, reminding him of the reason he really came here for and moaned in encouragement the moment he felt the tip of Shunsui’s member press against him. His breath caught at the initial breach. And as Shunsui pushed forward, he felt his insides painfully stretching to accommodate the intrusion.

“Ohh, Jyuu...” Shunsui whispered in a breathless moan, eyes thankfully closed as Jushiro hadn’t been able to hold back a wince or two.

The moment Shunsui’s pelvis touched his and he felt that deep ache of having the man fully encased inside of him, Jushiro chanted a mantra of _it’s going to get better_ inside his head. He used the one and only other memory he had of this to propel himself into saying the next words.

“Move, Shun.”

And Shunsui readily complied. He had started to piston in and out in a steady rhythms. Somehow, Jushiro was unprepared for the simple ache of being impaled turning into pure agony and, purely out of reflex, he ducked his head into the crook of Shunsui’s neck, gritting his teeth against the treacherous sounds of discomfort that escaped him.   

But somewhere along the way, he felt that familiar shift inside of him. With each thrust, he could feel the pain melting into something else entirely. It helped that Shunsui had started stroking him in time to his rhythm. Soon enough, he started to groan heartily, succumbing to the pleasure the bigger man brought. Shunsui started increasing the pace, gradually at first, until the pressure grew and Jushiro repeatedly begged, “Faster, please. Faster.”

Every forceful graze of battleworn fingers, every taste of their tongues melding, every brush against that wonderful spot inside of him, it all collided into this peak that left every inch of their bodies trembling as they neared their release.

Jushiro felt that coil within him snap violently and his back arched, coating their chests and belly with his warm, sticky substance. It was quickly followed by Shunsui’s gut-wrenching cry and a deep, blossoming heat inside of him.

Shunsui shortly collapsed on top of him. Jushiro instinctively adjusted his breathing to accommodate the weight of the man, while at the same time he slipped his fingers underneath sweat-coated locks and started to caress them in easy, comfortable motions.

They stayed in that idle moment until Jushiro was fighting to keep his eyes open. He was just about to surrender to the well-earned lassitude when he heard and felt a quiet rumble by his shoulder.

The words were quite impossible to make out so with his nose and chin, he gently nudged the man’s face out. He was only able to get one half out, but the eye that peeked out from beneath him was frighteningly clear.

“I tried so hard…” His mouth considerably tightened, but loosened again seconds later. “I really tried.”

Jushiro, unable to follow, furrowed his eyebrows. “Tried to do what?”

But his friend only drew in and out a whistle of air and hugged him. He then proceeded to roll off and over to the spot that was only a hair-width apart from Jushiro’s sprawled other hand.

Shunsui, gazing intently at the ceiling, casually followed up his earlier statement, “Not to need you.”

Jushiro’s eyebrows furrowed once more, but this time with incredulity. And eventually his lips began to quiver with amusement. “I don’t understand why you even bothered. You’re always going to have me, Shunsui.”

“Yeah…” Shunsui stared at him, two parts baffled and one part amazed at Jushiro’s silent laughter. “I’m starting to see that.”

“Get some rest, my friend,” were Jushiro’s last words before he turned to the opposite facing direction. On his side with his knees slightly bent and one arm cradled by his head, he turned in for the night, relishing the twinges of pain on his bottom.

It was funny how he had been the one chastising Shunsui all night about his stories not conforming to reality, when he was the one that never hesitated to take the steps that blurred their reality. He knew he didn’t belong in the fickle unsteady space next to Shunsui’s, but he let himself believe he did for just a few more seconds.

And as he felt Shunsui draw closer and rest his head on a portion of his back, he comforted himself with the fact that they had hundreds of years ahead of them to figure out where they stood with each other.

And even if they didn’t, well, every ordinary and everyday encounter they’ve had up to this point was never quite so forgettable anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> I purposely kept the timeline vague so that readers could decide for themselves if they wanted this ridiculous moment of their lives as their past or present (well, obviously not the present-present given the show's ending, which I choose to ignore btw).
> 
> This was meant to be a stand alone piece but I’m thinking of doing a companion piece from Shunsui’s POV. It will be a bit happier and I don’t know if anyone would really want that, or if I can even pull that off. But who knows!
> 
> Thank you for reading this! To be able to finish a single story, even just a one-shot feels so good. I never wanted to be a writer, but I always wanted to write fanfic as weird as that sounds. Again, thank you for reading!


End file.
